white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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