Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
