Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
