Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
