I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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