whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
