Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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