if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
