My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
