I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
