Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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