He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
