I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
