I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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