he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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