I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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