Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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