I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
