I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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