I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
