you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
