OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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