Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
