don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
