OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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