Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
