Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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