I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
