i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize