I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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