The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
