he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the day after is always just damage control
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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