i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have feelings that need drinking.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
