so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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