you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
