Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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