When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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