We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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