I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
