its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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