I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
