You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
false alarm, still single
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
