He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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