yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
