So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
