woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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