U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
