if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
