is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
