Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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