i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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