Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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