Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
