saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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