I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
