Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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