He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
