You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
