The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
