Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
