On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He keeps bees of course he's weird
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize